archive for the ‘Sports’ Category
1 Game down, 240 to Go
posted 9-September-2011 @ 10:53 by plove
There are actually 255 games remaining in the NFL season, but obviously I’m referring to the FTH season (we don’t play week 17). I am fully aware that no one cares about my fantasy football team, but dammit, the players deserve some recognition…and I think I drafted well.
I was unable to land any Arian-Foster-at-pick-#55-caliber deals this time around (could a reverse jinx apply here?), but I am confident that we have a contender on our hands. With the Packers-Saints kickoff game in the books, here is the squadron as we embark upon another championship journey [draft pick # in brackets]:
MAO’S MARAUDERS ROSTER
QB: Tom Brady [15]; Donovan McNabb [95]; Jason Campbell [115]; Alex Smith (dropped Colin Kaepernick [215])
RB: Felix Jones [46]; Marshawn Lynch [75]; Michael Bush [135]; Delone Carter [175]
WR: Calvin Johnson [6]; Miles Austin [26]; Dez Bryant [35]; Percy Harvin [66]; Lance Moore [106]; Robert Meachem [126]
TE: Jermichael Finley [55]; Jimmy Graham [86]; Jared Cook [155]
K: Alex Henery [195]
DEF/ST: NE [166]
DL: Justin Tuck [186]
LB: yet to be signed (dropped Rashad Jennings [145])
DB: Eric Berry (dropped Javon Ringer [206])
Time to grade out
posted 19-October-2010 @ 00:02 by plove
Every year I like to pinpoint a week, which is before the midpoint of the season but also not too early, that is appropriate for assessing my fantasy football team at each position.
This year that time is right about now (the onset of week 7). The upcoming week easily presents the most bye issues (due chiefly to the Texans) on my schedule and I believe we have had ample time to sort through early-season waiver wire transactions and come to grips with what we’re working with.
To recap the starting positions: QB, QB, WR, WR, WR, RB, RB, TE, WR/RB, WR/TE, K, DEF, DL, LB, DB. The report card is below.
QB: Kevin Kolb, Sam Bradford, Matt Cassel, Michael Vick
Grade: 80
No matter what happens from here on out it appears we have the Philadelphia QB position covered so that is reassuring. Sam Bradford has shown flashes of QB2 viability, and Matt Cassel is under center for a team with weapons and some soft spots on the schedule, but neither one of them is truly rock-solid.
WR: Andre Johnson, Calvin Johnson, Brandon Marshall, Marques Colston, Dwayne Bowe, Danario Alexander
Grade: 95
Nothing to be concerned about here unless serious injuries strike. Despite low early returns, Colston will never go away in the Saints’ offense. And if he’s barely even starting for you than you don’t have much to address in the wide receiver market.
RB: Arian Foster, Ahmad Bradshaw, Marshawn Lynch, Ryan Torain, Pierre Thomas
Grade: 90
Haven’t been able to utilize the PT Cruiser since acquiring him and Sam Bradford in a trade, but nevertheless his potential impact upon return really assuages any concerns about the injury risks inherent in those currently above him on the depth chart.
TE: Owen Daniels, Heath Miller
Grade: 82.5
Heath Miller may or may not be waiver wire fodder once the Texans’ bye has passed, but Daniels’ inspiring performance in week six really took some of the sting out of last week’s unfortunate loss of Jermichael Finley.
K: Olindo Mare
Grade: 85
Just signed Seattle’s Olindo Mare for this week’s home match-up with Arizona in place of the on-vacation Neil Rackers. Rackers’ performance has been solid but nothing to worry about losing.
DEF: Philadelphia San Francisco
Grade: 85
Philadelphia’s defense has allowed too many points but has put on a solid showing in terms of sacks and interceptions. In fact, I guess this is the one area of the team I’m gonna say I’m not satisfied with. Team defense is an important slot and capable of big points, so I think I’m going to see what a crawling-out-of-the-ashes 49ers team can do against the disjointed Panthers. I’d love to lock in a unit with the potential for those 30-3 drubbings that net some serious points.
IDP: DL-Osi Umenyiora; LB-James Harrison; DB-Bernard Pollard
Grade: 92.5
Pollard has been with us since the 18th round of the draft, and I’m hoping we can pull it out this week without having to drop anybody to cover for Houston’s bye. The other two marauders up front are looking like nice pick-ups.
Composite Score: 89.1
Prediction: Super Bowl Champions 
Fifty Hours from Football
posted 7-September-2010 @ 17:40 by plove
It is probably unhealthy the degree to which this time of year brings a spring to my step. Nonetheless, we are officially less than fifty hours away from NFL football. And with that reality on tap, I can begin (shamelessly at least) thinking about fantasy and tweaking my roster more than anything else. No wonder I’m broke.
Enough of that self-pity crap and on to my roster. And yes, I said roster. I made a commitment to myself to field only one team this year. While it is certainly enjoyable to stockpile tons of great players across multiple teams, where is the authenticity in that? I’m sure any NFL owner would love to have numerous top-five talents at each position distributed amongst several squads, and then actively pimp the team that finds the most success. But even if this is fantasy, it just doesn’t work that way.
Thus I stuck with my favorite league and said “good-bye” to all the others. I don’t even have any throwaway teams in free public leagues on sites such as espn.com. F*ck You Manu* is in its fifth year of operation, and all of my rival owners are active in the league as well as personal friends. For the sake of full disclosure, I am both the Commissioner and reigning champion. Based on what I’ve gathered following the draft, though, I wouldn’t call myself the favorite to repeat in 2010, at least not before I pull off a mid-season trade for an upgrade at QB. But I am certainly ready to roll with my guys. You be the judge.
HUGO CHAVEZ ROSTER
QB: Matt Cassel; Derek Anderson; Jason Campbell; Matt Moore
RB: Arian Foster; Ahmad Bradshaw; Carnell Williams; Leon Washington
WR: Andre Johnson; Calvin Johnson; Brandon Marshall; Marques Colston; Dwayne Bowe; Johnny Knox; Joshua Cribbs
TE: Jermichael Finley; Owen Daniels; Jermaine Gresham
K: David Buehler
DEF/ST: Philadelphia Eagles
DL: Julius Peppers
LB: [yet to be signed]
DB: Bernard Pollard
*Despite the enjoyment our league has provided to all its former and current members, unfortunately its nomenclature has a more troubled history that may only be cured by a Dallas Mavericks NBA Championship. F*ck You Manu was preceded in title by F*ck Tha Birdman (2009), F*ck David West (2008), F*ck Matt Barnes (2007), & F*ck Dwyane Wade (2006) – chilling references to figures who played notable roles in ousting the Mavs from their perennial championship quest.
More about the league:
-We maintain a cap of ten franchises in the league due to the use of two starting quarterbacks per team and the complications presented therein during bye weeks.
-On that note, the starting roster slots are as follows: QB, QB, RB, RB, WR, WR, WR, TE, RB/WR, WR/TE, K, D/ST, DL, LB, DB.
-Scoring settings have been tweaked through the years and we believe they are the best in the business. Here is the rundown:
Offensive Players
Passing Yards 1 point per 30 yards
Passing Touchdowns 6
Interceptions -3
Rushing Yards 1 point per 10 yards
Rushing Touchdowns 6
Reception Yards 1 point per 10 yards
Reception Touchdowns 6
Kickoff and Punt Return Touchdowns 10
2-Point Conversions 2
Fumbles Lost -2
Offensive Fumble Return TD 6
Kickers
Field Goals 0-19 Yards 3
Field Goals 20-29 Yards 3
Field Goals 30-39 Yards 4
Field Goals 40-49 Yards 5
Field Goals 50+ Yards 10
Point After Attempt Made 1
Point After Attempt Missed -2
Defense+Special Teams Unit
Sack 1.5
Interception 3
Fumble Recovery 3
Defensive Touchdown 6
Safety 4
Block Kick 4
Kickoff and Punt Return Touchdowns 6
Points Allowed 0 points 20
Points Allowed 1-6 points 13
Points Allowed 7-13 points 7
Points Allowed 14-20 points 3
Points Allowed 21-27 points 0
Points Allowed 28-34 points -2
Points Allowed 35+ points -6
Individual Defensive Players
Tackle Solo 1.25
Tackle Assist 0.75
Sack 3
Interception 5
Fumble Force 4
Fumble Recovery 4
Defensive Touchdown 10
Safety 7
Pass Defended 1.75
Block Kick 6
-And finally, what about the moolah? $35 is the entry fee. $250 goes to the victor. $65 for losing in the Super Bowl. And winning the 3rd place consolation game boomerangs your original $35 back to you.
I told you I warmed that thang up main
posted 18-January-2010 @ 14:07 by plove
Sure, that’s an impressive shot. But Monta gets paid $11 million a year to put the ball in the bucket, so it’s not really all that impressive. But what sticks with me is how pimped out his handshake is after the fact. Is there any good reason I don’t have something that baller to pull off with my boys?
New Year’s House Cleaning
posted 10-January-2010 @ 11:47 by plove
2010.
Having trouble accepting that this is now the present as it still sounds futuristic to me.
But alas, it’s the present, and here are but a few of the issues we’re grappling with:
- Does this make you feel safer?: http://www.newser.com/story/77836/airport-security-of-the-future-mind-reading.html
If that’s not enough, the TSA has purportedly ordered 300 of the naked-body scanners that they’ve been testing out and will be rolling them out in ariports for everyday use in the near future.
Everywhere you look, technology is being instituted to an absurd degree, ostensibly to keep us safer. It reminds me of this article that appeared on www.consumeraffairs.com on March 26, 2007:
Toyota Says Sweat Detector Stops Drunk Drivers
By Joe BentonJanuary 3, 2007
Soon to be the world’s number one carmaker, Japanese auto giant Toyota plans to develop a system that it says will prevent a vehicle from starting after detecting that the driver is drunk.The Toyota system analyzes sweat on the palms of the driver’s hands to assess blood alcohol content and does not allow the vehicle to be started if the reading is above programmed safety limits.
The system can detect abnormal steering and whether the driver’s pupils are out of focus as well as the sweat sensors in the steering wheel to determine the level of alcohol in the driver’s bloodstream.
If any of these symptoms are detected the car will not turn on or will slow to a stop.
The automaker said the system could be available as soon as 2009.
Toyota joins Volvo in developing computerized systems to prevent drunk driving. The Volvo system requires the driver to blow into a tube to detect alcohol in the breath.
Toyota rival Nissan Motor is also working on measures to prevent drunk driving.
The research announcements follow a record of drunken driving in Japan which included 14,000 intoxicated driving accidents in 2005 that killed 707 people, according to the National Police Agency.
Japan is considering increasing the penalty for driving under the influence to up to a maximum five years in prison from the current three years and doubling the fine to $8,500.
I’m sure you’ve already seen the recent Lexus ads that promote the vehicles’ steering-assist capabilities in case the driver veers too close to another automobile. You know how sometimes a warning light on your car’s dashboard will be triggered, and then when you take it in for service the mechanic tells you that it’s just a faulty sensor and that you should just ignore it? Well that is exactly why I don’t want my car deciding out of the blue to steer for me, because I can’t just ignore that if it is making a “faulty” decision! Do the people who are in charge of these “innovations” ever consider at what point enough is enough?
- Everybody’s cheating on each other, as Tiger Woods headlined the biggest scandal of 2009. Maybe people should take a page from Masha Kirilenko’s philosophy on relationships. Remove the controlling, “you can’t” element from male-female interactions, and it figures that people will be less likely to be treacherous towards those they are involved with.
- New year means it’s time for a new year’s resolution: no more twitter. Sorry tweeps, but attempting to follow others (here’s looking at you Mark Cuban) brought with it too much clutter.